Earlier in March this year I suffered a misscarraige, I give myself a hard time blaming myself for this everyday. It’s another big reason why I feel so down today. Below is a poem I wrote a few months back.
When I first learned of you, I felt so afraid
Now, my mind wonders over the memories we’d have made.
And it has created an empty feeling in my heart
To know that you and I will always be apart.
If there is a place that we all go after here
Will I get to meet you, will I get to hold you near?
In that place will you grow into a beauty of my own
Or will you remain in the only form that I was shown.
How do you grow without me, I hope there is a way
And know that if I had a choice I would have let you stay.
I would have fed you, taught you, loved you, held you in my arms
I would have done my best to protect you from any harm.
I barely knew you were there and suddenly you were gone
Fading away like the darkness does from dusk through to dawn.
Perhaps if I hadnt overthaught the blessing I’d been given
It would not be your tiny kicks inside me that I’m missing.
Until next time.