This is my first constructive post that I hope may help people.
After reading lots of different blogs last night I realised that we often read about the things that we should be doing, agree to try them but then never actually put them in to practice. I have made myself a small checklist of 5 things to do every day to help me have a better day.
- Compliment myself – Last night I listened to a guided meditation and this really stuck out for me the most. She said that no matter how much a person loves you, no matter how much they value you, you will automatically see that they value you the way that you value yourself. This is one of my biggest struggles, I do not value myself at all so I don’t see how anyone else could value me. So this is my first item on my checklist, It wont make me love myself overnight, but day by day I hope it will change the way I see myself. This may be as simple as complimenting myself for my hair or the outfit I have chosen that day, or complimenting myself for the way I handled a tricky situation at work.
- Do a good deed – They always say that helping out another person will make you feel better. I am definitely one of these people, I feel great when I have made someone smile or just made their day a little easier. Whether its telling someone that they still have the label on their jacket or giving someone the extra change that they need to complete their purchase at the till point. This will not only remind me that there is good in the world, but It will help me to believe that people see my worth, because I am giving them a reason to.
- Fight a cognitive distortion – This one is going to be tricky and I’m not quite sure yet how I am going to do it. I have a really bad case of ‘All or nothing thinking’ which is very common it seems in those that suffer with their mental health. I want to start by trying to have control over my mind at least once each day. To remind myself that I am in control, and when that panic takes over me, whether I am mind reading, or jumping to conclusions. I am going to try to stop in that moment and think the opposite to what I am thinking, no its not the end of the world, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing, maybe they are not thinking that. I will try to give you some examples of this one as I go along.
- Face a fear – Similarly to number three above, I want to try every day to do something I am afraid of. By this I don’t mean tackling my biggest fears, just doing one small thing. One of those things that people always say your silly for being afraid of. For me this will most commonly be the fear of what other people think. I may pick an outfit out of my wardrobe in the morning and then put it back because I think others will judge me, or I might hold in my need for the toilet until those popular girls have moved so I don’t have to walk by them. When I do walk by them I tend to hang my head in shame, hide my face, avoid contact, for what reason? Now it is my mission to everyday face one of these fears. Maybe it will be just walking by someone I am afraid of and smiling at them.
- Meditate – I think it is important to give your brain some me time, to just relax and really try to exhale all those negative thoughts and inhale all of the positives. It may not seem to benefit you much at the beginning. When you think about it, you are allowing yourself that time to address the negative thoughts, rather than them just building up and then exploding in an attack. I may even try to do this twice a day, once in the morning to clear my head of anything negative I have awoken with, and once at night to clear away all of the negative that has built up during the course of the day.
I don’t know how useful this will be to myself or any of you, but I hope this inspires you to do something if you aren’t already. We must actively try to battle this, every single day. The do nothing approach will not work for us, it wont just go away by itself and another person will not make it go away for us. The only person you can rely on for your happiness is you.
Good luck with whatever it is that you do each day to combat the bad, if you have any suggestions for me please do help!
Until next time.